I Made Dying Animal Noises in Chemistry Class

Yes, I did, and it was terribly embarrassing, and the guy who I really liked was there (and is still in my Chem class, sitting directly behind me).

First of all, I am in a 10th grade, regular Chemistry class, which is not really filled with the smartest people in the world. (Like Insect, who’s face looks like an Ogres face, and who has a really weirdly shaped head). There is me, my best friend Bum-Bum (because of her last name and the size of her butt), and several other rather normal people, but then there is HIM (who we shall call Panamanian Paradise) who has delightfully mocha colored skin, huge brown eyes, and lustrous dark brown hair, and even though he shaved it for wrestling, he is still the hottest kid I have ever seen in my life.

Anyway, we sit at tables not desks (for labs and such) and one day as we were taking a test and at the table it was me, Bum-Bum, and Panamanian Paradise. Both Bum-Bum and I had finished our tests and were drawing pictures on our binders of the animals that each of the kids in our class we thought resembled the most, I drew Panamanian Paradise as a Jalepeno (with the squiggly over the n) with a sombrero and boots and a really cute poncho, and as I was drawing this, I couldn’t help but laugh, but I didn’t want to disrupt the class, so I tried to hold it in. Big mistake. As the big laugh was coming I was trying my best to stay serious, but soon it erupted from my body.

I leaned over and tried to pretend like I was choking, but I knew that the entire class thought I was laughing. It was like the sound that two hippos make when they know they are going to die, so they dry hump one….last…..time. It was wretched. I stayed leaned over for a couple seconds because I knew I couldn’t face twelve or thirteen students probably staring at me in disgust at that moment.

I especially knew that Panamanian Paradise was staring at me also.

Oh well, I’m sure he wouldn’t have been interested in me, anyway.

Elvis Presley Song!!!

This song is by Elvis Presley, I'm sure you know it, follower. Its called "I can't Help Falling in Love". This song was the first song ever to make me cry. Actually, that's not true, the sad song at the end of Pokemon 2000 was the first. Its still a really pretty song, I sing it a little differently, but I hope you like it!!!



PS: Follower!! (Emily-chan or Allie) If you would like to make a request, you can email it to me at IAN.WRIMYN@gmail.com

'Nothah song, Yo!

Yes, I have decided to continue my inanimate object filming singing posts. This one is kinda dark, and I'm singing kinda low, but this song is near and dear to my heart (its the first song I ever sang solo in a concert!) It's Someone to Watch Over Me, I think by Hoagy Carmichael, but I don't know for sure. Hope you like it!

One Weekend of Churchy Awesomeness

This past weekend, I went on a "BIBLE STUDY RETREAT". Yes, but don't hold it against me.
It was soulfully fulfilling, but that's not why I am going to post about it. I am talking about the epic prankage that occurred the only night we stayed over. Needless to say, nothing gross happened (almost), and no pillaging and raping of women occurred, BUT hilarity did occur when the boys completely FAILED their prank.
So it was about 9:00 Saturday night, and we had finished all the things that we had to, so all of the kids that came were hanging out in the common room, that is, all except for a few rambunctious girls in my group, who decided (on their own) that they would try to wrap all of the boys' cars entirely in plastic wrap. They had also decided that they were going to put tampons in the boys' beds, but luckily that did not happen because the super ninja admin that were there caught them.

This angered the men.

They were so angry in fact, that one of the boys revealed his costume and prank idea early, so that the administrators had to have alternating hall duty to catch him before he made us pee in our pants with fright. His plan was thwarted.

If plastic wrap and tampons wasn't enough, the junior high girls thought it would be funny to hit the wasp nest one more time by sneaking out and banging on all the boys's (grammar, yes I know) room windows. This was retaliated by a failed attempt by the boys to get outside before the girls came back in, in order to perhaps kidnap and rape them in the forest, one can't be sure.

At this point, almost everyone was still awake, and when we, the High School girls, heard news of this tom foolery, we knew the men were going to do something EPIC, or so we thought.

We all went to bed, trembling with fear of what the boys would do. Every noise was them walking over to our room, every shift in someone's bed was the boys taking off her covers (better to rape them, I guessed) and every cough was a boy getting too close to the perfumy part of the room where I had sprayed too much Angel Innocence. I'm pretty sure the girl closest to the lights turned them on at least 50 times, thus wiring us up even more.

Finally, it was 4:00 in the morning, and we decided that it was too late for any of them to even want to do something.

We were wrong, but thankfully, one dutifully dedicated High Schooler thought it was upon her to stay awake the rest of the night (it actually wasn't intentional, she has insomnia and forgot her sleep meds) and keep watch over our room.

It was about 5:00 am (so she claimed, she didn't have her phone or a clock) when she heard the boys talking outside of our room. She knew deep down in her heart what she had to do. She trudged out of bed, went to the door, threw it open and said "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She recalled the following morning that the boys stood there in awe of her majesty and ability to stay awake, for a moment, then proceeded to sprint down the hall in terror of her power. She was too irritated and grumpy to see what they had done, so she came back to her bed and continued reading by the tiny night light (that really only provided about 1 sq ft of light, so the room was still pitch black) by the foot of her bed.

The next morning, we all woke cheerfully, knowing that our whole night was saved thanks to this girl's sense of responsibility and sleep disease. She informed us of her night adventure and as soon as she was done one of the other girls flew to the door and opened it slowly, excited to see what had transpired.

All that was there was about 10 little sippy cups, 3 of which were filled with water. It was an EPIC FAIL on the boys' part. We laughed at them heartily, they had only gotten 4 hours of sleep to pull this awesome prank, only to fail miserably. We didn't even know what they intended to do with the cups had they all been filled up with water. A few of my friends suggested that the boys had forgetten that the doors open inward rather than outward, which perhaps might have been the intended prank: Someone opens door, whoops! all 2 oz of water spill on the carpet, OH NO!

Nevertheless, they failed. It was funny. We all laughed at them. It was a good weekend.

More Music, YAAAY!

I feel like maybe filming inanimate objects while I sing might become my thing. I don't really like getting dressed up for silly things like mini concert videos, so this is a perfect system for me! This video is of my hot chocolate, which is my favorite drahnk, and the song I'm singing is Two Sleepy People. Hope you are fond of this one, because you know I am!!!

Guess what?? I did it!!

I did it!!! Yay for IAN WRIMYN!!! I am so happy to show you, one follower, the wonderfulness that is the hours of my long, hard work. Not singing the song, no, but uploading it in a proper fashion to post in my blog, which is much more difficult than I thought. So here it is, the name of the song is How Little We Know by Frank Sinatra, and yes it is an entire video of my wonderful heart pillow (hey, you get to see the inside of my house!) it's not very advanced yet, but I'm getting there! More songs will be better, I'm still trying to figure out how to put background music on my videos (don't judge me!) and once I have that figured out, the world will be beautiful!!!! I hope you like it!!

Second Post today!!!

I have been thinking that maybe I will start posting some of my songs on this blog. Maybe, just maybe. They aren't necessarily songs that I wrote, but I will be the one singing them. We'll see......

Day 3 and 4 of the Cabbage Soup Diet

I have been quite distracted by my life lately and didn't post on day three of my Cabbage Soup Adventure. I think that you will be pleased to know that I have lost 4 lbs thus far!!! Plus, now I can eat meat which is kinda important to my mental stability, so I'm excited.

Also, I have recently learned that I am lactose intolerant. Bummer, yes. End of the world? maybe, but am I going to get through it? Most likely. There are pills that you can take with your meals with cheese in them in order to prevent the embarrassing side-effects of eating things with lactose. Hopefully there's a life lesson in here somewhere.

Day 2 of the Cabbage Soup Diet: This had better work

I don't know if you have ever gone 2 days only eating fruits and vegetables but I'm pretty sure it messes with the chemicals in your brain. Right now I am thinking violent thoughts about Shamoo dragging the cabbage to the bottom of the ocean and stabbing it with a huge shell. I hate cabbage. Cabbage needs to go extinct. Cabbage needs to DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH AT MY HAND!!!!

By God, if I don't lose 10 billion frickin' pounds by the end of this hell week, I am going to find someone, cut off their skin, and wear it around like a skin suit. You think I'm joking? Let's see if you still feel that way when I'm in your room and I'm cutting off your skin.

Day 1 of the Cabbage Soup Diet: The Calm Before the Storm

Well, I finally had to end it. The post snow-pocalypse christmas weight finally is coming off. The bodily phenomena "Puffation Cycle" is beginning anew, and as the world in Northern Virginia begins to awake from its wintery slumber, so am I, and so is my metabolism. I shall lean down like the bunnies and squirrels and be in tip top shape for summer when the mating season begins.

Cabbage soup diet............... oh god.

I begin my journey today into a mysteriously restricted world of eating only cabbage soup, fruit, vegetables and a little chicken.

This journey will only last 7 days, but the program promised 10 lbs to be dropped, and 10 lbs I shall.

My Thoughts This Morning

I hate you alarm clock, for inserting yourself in my dream and then waking me up 20 minutes late.

I hate you Fiber One Oats and Chocolate bar for being so gross after I've eaten so many of you.

I hate you jeans for being colder than my flanel pants this morning.

I hate you floor for turning into an ice floor over night.

I hate you mom, for waking up and being able to talk at 6:20 am.

I hate you sun, for not being up at 5:30 when I wake up.

I hate you FCPS school system for making me walk 1/2 mile to the bus stop instead of 30 feet like last year.

I hate you random broken broom stuck in someones yard for making me think this early.

I hate you walking buddy for telling your mom that we wanted to walk to the bus stop from now on.

I hate you backpack for being so heavy.

I hate you bus for not being there the exact moment I get to the bus stop.

I hate you annoying bus stop kid for talking too much at inappropriate times.

I hate you bus driver for being a creeper.

I hate you school for existing.

I hate you history for ever happening and making us learn you.

I hate you history teacher for making us get into groups and actually work.

I hate you group for failing our presentation.

I hate you stomach for growling incessantly from 7:20 to 2:10 exactly.

I hate you English teacher for assigning homework when we didn't even have school.

I hate you God for making me a human instead of a cat who can sleep all day and nobody cares.

Mike Tyson+teddy bear+Nina Simone= Mike Lynch

I believe in America. I truly do. Which is why I believe in American Idol as Americas amazing, spectacular way of weeding out talented singing people. One of those people is Mike Lynch, who is probably the best thing since Adam Lambert (but does not beat Adam Lambert, just no). Not only is he a cross breed of Mike Tyson testosterone, teddy bear huggability, and the voice of Nina Simone, he also is ADORABLE (almost like a teddy bear, but in a buff bouncer way). Mike Lynch is pretty much the best. At everything. No matter what.

Epiphany I

I have finally figured out why people go into photo booths in public places like the mall and at carnivals.

No, not because they want a bunch of cute pictures to give to their friends and loved ones.

Because they are going to their secret spy lairs hidden underground!!!!!

It all makes sense. With the cheap price of disposable (even disposable digital) cameras, who would need to spend 4 dollars on only 6 photos? Not a normal person! So, therefore, they must be a SPY.

The flashes of the "camera" distract the casual onlooker to the chair dropping suddenly into the dark depths of the spy lair. I'm sure there are professional "Super Secret Spy Chute" finders (because of course there have to be decoys) and repairmen who are under oath by the FBI.

Or maybe they use computers and humanoid robots.

I hope not, because the robots will probably revolt and kill all of our spies by making the photo booths secretly blow up, and then we will have no more spies. That would be bad.

I hope now that the cat is out of the bag the government won't try to track me down and kill me.