Day 2 of the Cabbage Soup Diet: This had better work

I don't know if you have ever gone 2 days only eating fruits and vegetables but I'm pretty sure it messes with the chemicals in your brain. Right now I am thinking violent thoughts about Shamoo dragging the cabbage to the bottom of the ocean and stabbing it with a huge shell. I hate cabbage. Cabbage needs to go extinct. Cabbage needs to DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH AT MY HAND!!!!

By God, if I don't lose 10 billion frickin' pounds by the end of this hell week, I am going to find someone, cut off their skin, and wear it around like a skin suit. You think I'm joking? Let's see if you still feel that way when I'm in your room and I'm cutting off your skin.