I finally did it!

HEY! So I finally made a new web... thing.
I'm kinda sad that I chose to do another blog, but wordpress was too complicated and I didn't want to have to pay for anything.
Anyways, here's the link:
http://notrando-pickles.blogspot.com
Oh, just so you're not shocked, my name is Sarah. So, don't freak out or anything, kk?
I hope this new blog isn't a fail like this one was.

Chronic Laziness

I'm not sure how many of you have been really waiting for me to post again. I can imagine many of you have given up any slivers of hope you had of any new postage.
I'm sorry. It's really not my fault.
I have a self-diagnosed disease I like to call "Chronic Laziness".
Essentially, any time I think about doing something productive, I pass out.
Well... I take a nap, anyways.
BUT as you can imagine, this is very frustrating on my, and basically everyone in my family's part. It has pretty much halted my cartoon producing to a standstill, which is why THAT hasn't happened yet.

Other than that, all you really need to know right now as my readers is that I am really trying to overcome my Chronic Laziness and actually do something with my life.
I am also back in school, so the chances of me posting more than once a month are very slim.
I am also training to join a roller derby team (ooooh aaaaahh) so that will put a damper on my productivity as well.

Sooooooo, this has been kinda awkward. I'm sorry I haven't posted and will probs not post for another couple years or so. (for those of you not in highschool in America, probs=probably)

...........ok bye!

Strange...

I find it strange that I am getting more followers........... when I'm not posting.................. It must be my ravishing good looks.

Getting very close to launching the new website. Be very excited.

How Sorry Am I? Not really that sorry. Sorry.

Ah, the lazy days of summer.
As you might have guessed, summer is a very busy time for me. Therefore, I have not been able to post for a while. A very, very long while.
So, in order to catch you up to current date, I have written a few rhymes.

Got to swim, don't have tim(e)

Got to work, makes me smirk (with happiness)

Go to beach, get hair bleached (by my aunt, we laugh a lot)

Got back home, now to Buffalo! (Only my favorite city in the US of A!)

Yes, I hope you enjoyed the poetry, and don't you go saying that some of the lines don't rhyme, they DO! (Even if it's a partial rhyme, that still counts.)

Oh!ohohohohoh! I also bring GREAT news, I have conjured up a comic that I shall be posting on the interweb. Shall I post it on this blog? Perhaps, probably not. If I make a new site, I will definitely post the URL here.
(Its about a time traveller, an axe murderer, a drug dealer, and a prostitute. Good fun, I'd say!!! Its set around the 1800s, it's called "Dark is Conventional" {I'll explain the title later})

Anyways, I'll get around to doing all that stuff eventualmente, I make no promises. Until next time!

Im sorry I haven't posted in a Millenia

Wow, its been a really long time, eh?
Things have just been reaaalllyy busy.
I'll recap my life since I last posted in a few choice words:
school-over
love interest-gone
job-started
money-have
swimming-morning-early
life-somewhat good

Alrightie then, thats been my life so far. Heres a cute picture I got from "chainbear.com". Go there, laugh, have a nice day. (p.s. some content is innappropro, so  be careful who's around when you're reading the comics.)

Confusing? Yes, I think so.

You know who are confusing? Men.

I don't know what it is, but the first second they're all like "I wanna go out with you, you're so pretty lalala"

And the next they're like: "What's your name again?"

And sometimes they even progress further and say: "I don't want a relationship, I just want a funfun partner."

Did I miss some man language seminar? I just don't understand why they have to keep changing their minds ALL THE TIME.

Goodness gracious, it's not even like our lives depend on it either, but for SOME reason they feel a need to switch back and forth between relationship or no relationship.

Gack, there should be a man manual.

How Contacts are the Most Inconvenient Convenient Invention EVER

Contacts, they are probably some of the greatest things ever invented to promote equality. Now, people with poor vision can make a choice whether to flaunt cool glasses or simply hide with on eye lenses. However, contacts bring with them certain side-effects, making simple situations more complicated, and potentially mundane days a hellish combination of pain and discomfort.

1. Getting an eyelash in your eye:

Not only do contacts seem to retain eyelashes as long as possible, or until you take your contact out, but they also seem to only do this when in public places where there are lots of people around.

2. Rubbing your eyes:

This also seems to only occur in public, and when there is no contact fluid to be found anywhere. I mean, you can't ask a perfect STRANGER for their contact fluid! It might have eye roofies in it!!!

3. At the airport or any other high security area:

Not only will you then be singled out for investigation, but there will always be someone watching awkwardly telling their child that you are a terrorist or a crazy man. 

Have I Ever Told You?

Not many of you know this, but other than 4, 5 is my favorite number.

This is not a casual, "Oh yeah, that's my favorite number!" kind of favorite.

No, I have to have EVERYTHING in sets of 5.

If anything in my life involving numbers does not end in 5 or 0, I freak out.

Math tests kill me, most of the time I deliberately round up or down in order to get an answer that ends in 0 or 5.  (I do not do very well in math)

I don't know why I have such a weird case of number OCD, I guess I was born that way......



If you have a number for a support group or group therapy sessions that don't meet on Tuesday, could I please have it? This OCD is ruining my life.

Don't Do it

Never take AP anything, especially World History.
THIS is what I have to deal with.

alright, so technically, that's not EXACTLY what I have to deal with, but it is definitely something that extensive. I will post pictures of me and my chart at a later time. For now, imagine that with time periods, nations of the world,and LOTS of history words.

I repeat, do NOT take AP.

In other news, I am starting behind the wheel driving course, at the end of which I can take the test and be eligible to get my licence as soon as I get my 45 hours...... which will probably be sometime around September..... oh well, at least I'll have everything done by then.

I'm sorry if this is a bad post, I'm tired, and I'm trying to get finished as soon as possible, Glee is on. If you are reading this and Glee is on, go watch Glee. Well, I guess you're done reading it anyway............


Kay bye.

GASP!!!! 3rd Follower!!!! Do you know what THAT means???

It means, Imma make a narwhal drawing and give it to everyone!!!! YAAAYYYYY!!!!

Alright, now for about 2 minutes of AWESOME

Finally!!!

As I told you a while ago, I went to San Antonio, Texas from Wednesday a couple weeks ago to the following Sunday.

I am pretty sure that the trip transgressed all possible thresholds in which one would call it a “bad trip”.

It was a terrible trip.

The WORST trip I have ever been on.

The chaos began when we first got to our hotel.

We were happy to be finally on the ground after about a 3 hour plane ride from Northern Virginia (not to be confused with regular old Virginia). Giddy as we were, my roommates and I failed to notice an obvious yet rather discrete sign stating that the elevator we were boarding was a garage elevator, and only went to the 7 garage levels.

It took us 7 levels to realize this.

To make things worse, someone accidentally hit the emergency stop button, not only causing the elevator to jerk to a stop but also setting off one of the loudest most obnoxious alarms ever. (You think your school fire alarms are loud? Try three times as loud in about 10 sq ft of space (about 3 sq meters)).

I cannot put into words exactly how insane it was in the elevator, but I shall try. Imagine being in a small, hardly insulated oven with a bunch of squirrels. Now imagine someone slowly turning the heat up. NOW imagine the squirrels are going through a crack withdrawal. THAT was what the elevator was like, except with greater urgency.

In a panicked state mostly caused by the ever rising temperature and the imminent fall of the elevators to our deaths imagined by a few of us (and eloquently expressed through yells, curses, and screams) we awaited rescue.

As we got more and more impatient, one of us discovered the “Elevator Service” phone line. We called and asked urgently whether help was on the way, interjected by pleas for help and rescue by one especially panicked passenger. She assured us that they were “working on it” and that we would be out of there soon.

Minutes crawled by, slowed mostly by random bouts of panicked yelling and chattering hushed by yells of “Shut the F**k up!” Soon, we felt that help was not coming, and we called the service line again. We were answered curtly by the same woman who simply said (quite angrily) “We’re working on it!” and hung up. This only agitated our already hostile and unstable state.

After a few more minutes of angry banter we heard a man outside. Everyone flocked to the locked elevator door. “Are we gonna get our?” we yelled, unsure whether or not our voices would carry over the alarm. “Yes, you’ll be out soon enough, don’t worry.” As if that was not enough to calm down some of our passengers, one girl screeched “We’re not gonna DIE are we??”

“No, you’re not.”

The rest of our desperate attempt to help went something like this:

“Can you get us out ok?”

“Yes.”

“Should we press the open door button?”

“NO! Don’t press any buttons!” (by this time he had told us how to turn off the alarm, much of the tension was released)

“Should we pull on the door?”

“Yes… wait… NO! Don’t!” (yelling and nervous chatter)

Finally the elevator proceeded to the next floor and all of our sweaty bodies crushed together to escape the evil elevator, weakly dragging our luggage behind us.

“We’re FREE!” we cheered. Our blissful freedom had been granted us by the elevator demon!

“Where are the stairs?” The what? In our ecstatic and excited state, we had forgotten our motive for getting into the elevator in the first place! We walked up and back around the parking lot until one of our rescuers found us and showed us where they were. We were grateful, because everyone knew we were NOT getting in that elevator again.

We had to carry our luggage down 6 flights of stairs, but we didn’t mind. As long as we weren’t in that elevator.

After the ordeal, all we could think was: “This had be a pretty damn good trip.” Too bad it stayed about as equally as crappy.

I will post the rest of this story separately, as it would be much too long for a human with a normal attention span to get through in one sitting. Be assured, good reader(s) that the rest of the story is JUST as much of an epic fail as this was.

I Really Do Apologize

So I've basically been on the brink of death lately and haven't really been up to writing.

I am SORRY!

I am especially sorry for the people who will look at these posts as their first impression of my blog.

I will seem pretty pathetic, but alas! I am not a terrible blogger! I swear!

My epic tale will soon emerge! I swear it, and I will most likely be loath to do it by Friday, then by golly it will be published by Monday!!!! (I don't think I used that word right.......)

Hang in there, people! I know you don't depend on me for anything, and don't expect anything from me, but give me a chance! Give me a chance, I pray thee!!

Epic Post Coming soon!!

Alright, I'm starting to wrap my mind around the fact that I need to write my epic tale.

It could possibly be very long. It intimidates me.

I would have written it by now except that I've been in bed sick. (stupid Texas germs)

Aw, well, I'll get around to it eventually. Don't worry!

The Video!

Weeehee! Another video of me! Hope you like it. The strange ticking sound in the background is my clock. I was halfway through the video when I realized that the camera was right next to it, but I was too lazy to do anything about it. Oopsie! I stayed in rhythm with it though, so it shouldn't be too disruptive.

New Post coming soon!

I would write out my epic trip tale, but I am feeling too lazy.

Video coming, though!

Don't you hate it when things take too long?

Finally! A video with me in it!

This is the great reveal. You are the first to see who I am, plus the inside of my room! I had to post commentary because the lovely people of youtube PROBABLY haven't been to my blog, so yeah, hope you like it!

Isn't it ironic?

Ahh, how things can change so quickly.

Yesterday, I couldn't wait to post.

Today I have to force myself to post in order to explain why I will not be posting for a while.

I am going to San Antonio, Texas with my school choir! Yaaayy!!! Fun times are ahead!

Unfortunately, I will not have access to a computer, so there will not be any more posts for the rest of this year....

Just making sure you were paying attention, I shall probably start posting again on Sunday or Monday, depending on how tired I am.

I bid you farewell for this time! Until we meet again!

One parting picture:

How a Really Nice Day Got Really Nasty, all because of my MOM

So someone told me that I was one of the prettiest girls they had ever seen before.

That's pretty big for a girl who for as long as she can remember has only been called fat and ugly.

As one can imagine, this made me very:

-happy

-excited

-confident

-sexy feeling

-happy

So I rushed home from the bus stop to tell my mom of the person's wonderful comment.

I tell her, and what does she say back to me?

Mom: "Of course, your internal beauty"

This made me want to cry. How could she say something like that? I looked at her agape, she quickly corrected herself with: "You know, it just makes you glow!"

Yeah right, mom, you're not getting off that easy. I seriously considered throwing a total hissy bitchy fit, but I know my mom cannot be trusted with words.

She is the one who called "Dora the Explorer" a latino doll.

She still kind of took me off my pretty high.

PS: Read this book:

"Crap Lyrics" by Jack Sharp

One of My Many Weird Hobbies

I have been waiting all day to write this.

I would like to tell you about a hobby that I have had since I was very little:

Discovering Subcultures.

What is a subculture you might ask? No, it is not some colony of underwater bacteria. No, it is not the culture of people who live in submarines, particularly the yellow kind. No, it is not a combination of the two (that would be strange). It is none of the above.

Subcultures are the small, yet significant groups of people who share unique or special interests. Bloggers are a subculture. They are also subsubcultures within the blogger subculture, such as photography bloggers, family bloggers, cannot write for beans bloggers, my life is terrible so I am going to tell the world about it bloggers, etc.

Here are some subcultures that I have discovered for myself:
1. Sparklers.
Sparklers are the rare group (I believe there are only a couple thousand in the world) of people who use sparknotes.com for recreation rather than for valuable book information. This group of people often post stories and "how-to"s that are later published for everyone to see. Some of this literature is fun to read, some of it is bizarre, and not necessarily in a good way.
2. Fan-Fic Writers.
(This group, along with bloggers, and some sparklers fall under the writing subcultures) If you have not ever read fan-fiction, I would highly recommend it. They refer to themselves as the Fan-Fic writers. I do not have very much experience with this group, so they may have other nicknames for each other, perhaps "Finnies" or "Fannies" or "Fickles" I am not quite sure.
3. People who read anime (manga) in the book store.
There is a huge group of people who read anime or manga, so therefore they so not count as a subculture, but there is a small portion of them who decide that actually buying the books is either too expensive or too tedious for their important lives, and thusly read them in the different rows of Japanese Comic Books in the actual book store. Some find a fiendish kind of pleasure from breaking the binding and folding the pages without even a thought of the next person who might want to buy that particular graphic novel. Printed anime is properly called "manga". I am proud to be a rehabilitated reader of such literature, and am now leading a normal life.
4. Death Hags.
Normally I wouldn't count this as a subculture that I discovered, I found it on L.A. Ink, but I consider people who watch TLC instead of normal television a subculture. I discovered a subculture while participating in a subculture so it counts. Death Hags are a very small (but growing) group of people who wander around cemeteries and look for the graves of famous people. I do not think I could be a part of that subculture. Cemeteries make me a combination of frightened and sad, not to mention cemeteries with famous people in them.
5. Youtubers.
I am not simply talking about people who go on youtube and look up videos, that's basically the whole planet. The rather large subculture I am speaking of is made up of the people who actually post videos on youtube. A subsubculture within this group is the video blogging group. I do not consider it part of the print blogging group, because the two use very different sites and technology for their medium. (Alright, so I didn't discover them, but considering I am a part of them, now, I know what they go through on a daily basis searching hungrily for positive comments and potential subscribers)

I shall tell you about more as I discover them. Here are some more subcultures not really worth explaining:
-"how-to" youtubers (subsub)
-tattoo junkies
-white people who think they're asian
-white people who think they're black
-band kids (subsub: band couples)
-orch dorks (subsub: Orchestra Teacher's Assistants)
-theater junkies (subsub: theater junkies who lost their virginity in the theater room)
-crew people (subsub: bus makeout couples)
-badminton junkies
-robotics club members (subsub: robotics geniuses)

WOW! Second Post Today!

I am pretty sure that capslock day only applies to first posts in a blog.

That said, I completely forgot what I was going to post about. Holy crap.

I think I'll post it anyway.

OH! Oh! ohohohohoh! I am gonna post another song soon, hopefully this one will include background music. I'm pretty sure it will still be me filming an inanimate object, though. Maybe a narwhal, I'm not sure.

AND!!!! I would like to inform you of the experiment I am doing. If you are reading this right now, you are a part of it! Doesn't that make you feel special!

I am seeing just how long it would take for a blog or a youtube channel to have more than 25 actual followers if the person who created the blog or youtube channel did not tell ANYONE about it. Pretty huge, huh? I am hoping to do this several times and then calculate an average and become massively famous! So, even though you're part of the experiment now, does not necessarily mean that you will be in part of it later.

I feel like lack of skills or funniness might be a factor in a potential failure of this experiment, but I won't worry about it. What's the worst thing that could happen? I specifically made my blog COMPLETELY anonymous so that no one could find out who I really was and track me down and kill/rape/publicly humiliate me. I may have told my mom, but it's debatable whether she remembers or not.

I hope that made your day (or night, for those of you who are nocturnal).

Notice also, that even though I really have only one follower, I am writing as though I have tons. This is so other people who may or may not get involved do not feel confused or out of the loop.

Blood Drive Day

ALONG WITH BEING BLOOD DRIVE DAY, APPARENTLY TODAY IS ALSO CAPSLOCK DAY.

I GAVE BLOOD TODAY.

IT HURT.

BUT ONLY IN THE BEGINNING.

THEN I FELT REALLY IMPRESSIVE AND HEROIC FOR GIVING A WHOLE PINT. I COULD HAVE DOUBLE DONATED (THAT IS THE CLOSEST I AM EVER GETTING TO REVEALING MY WEIGHT)BUT I ONLY FOUND THAT OUT AT THE END, AND APPARENTLY THEY HAVE TO STICK 2 NEEDLES IN INSTEAD OF ONE, AND ONE CAUSED ENOUGH ANXIETY FOR ME ALREADY.

I THINK MAYBE R.... YOU KNOW, IS BEING MAJORLY TURNED OFF BY MY AWKWARD AND WEIRD PERSONALITY. THEN AGAIN, I SAW HIM SWINGING ON A TREE SWING YESTERDAY...
I THINK I MOSTLY AM JUST ANNOYING HIM BECAUSE I KEEP ASKING HIM TO GO TO A MOVIE OR A CONCERT OR SOMETHING, EVEN THOUGH I CLEVERLY DISGUISE IT AS A SUPER SECRET SPY MISSION.

PERHAPS IF HE CAN'T COPE WITH MY WEIRDNESS, THEN WE WEREN'T MEANT TO BE. :( THAT WOULD MAKE ME SAD.

BACK TO THE BLOOD DRIVE, I SAW SOMEONE FAINT FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY.

I THOUGHT SHE WAS JOKING.

SHE WAS NOT JOKING.

WE HAD TO CALL A NURSE OVER AND AS THEY WERE DRAGGING HER TO THE MAT ON THE FLOOR WHERE PEOPLE GO WHEN THEY FAINT, SHE WOKE UP. IT WAS ACTUALLY HILARIOUS, SHE WAS SO CONFUSED. BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT WAS NOT HILARIOUS BECAUSE SHE HAD JUST FAINTED AND WAS BEING DRAGGED ON THE GROUND. SOMEONE ALSO HAD A PANIC ATTACK, AND I HAD TO HOLD HER HAND.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, EVEN THOUGH I FELT LIKE A HERO, MY DAY WAS STILL VERY STRESSFUL.

Apology

I would like to apologize for my post last night. I don't know if I was in a fatigue induced coma or fatigue induced high, but it wasn't pleasant.

I have so much to talk about!

1. There is a blood drive tomorrow at school, and I'm donating! (I'm a little nervous, irrational fear of needles, you know what I mean)

2. I recently learned that colloquial does not mean what I thought it did. I thought colloquial meant very astute in words, or had a large vocabulary, well it actually means quite the opposite. Its means common or conversational. Doesn't colloquial sound like it should be something sophisticated, though?

3. I think I know who I'm going to marry. His name is Rob, and just so you know I am taking his name off of this blog tomorrow, just in case I tell him about this and forget to remove the name. That would make for an awkward situation.

4. You know what else is awkward? The word awkward. There are simply too many "w"s.

5. I got to count shirts today in gym instead of running. Woohoo. I wish I could do that all the time.

6. I submitted some pictures that I drew (I actually like to draw, not just narwhals) to the school art magazine.

7. I straightened my hair for the first time in approximately a million years.

8. I have OCD with numbers and anything that I list cannot end in anything other than a 5 or a 0

9. I discovered a really good song by Weezer: I Don't Want to Let You Go

10. I am currently in the process of writing a song, I haven't really written any of it yet, but my mind is sort of pregnant with the idea. I think that maybe Rob has induced labor and I will be giving birth to it soon. I think I will name it: "I Only Have Eyes for You" or something to that effect.

11.-15.

Indescribable Happiness and Maybe a song Later! Corrected

So I just got back from my week in Puerto Rico.

I was very uncomfortable.

I never could understand what people were saying.

I'm in my 4th year of Spanish......

Needless to say, I needed a little pick-me-up after epically failing at Spanish, so I came home and looked at my youtube channel and what did I see? My views had gone up from 13 to 25!

This is a big leap for a girl who only told her mom that she was making videos of music and blogging.

PLUS some kind fellow (who could potentially be my mother, I honestly do not know) said I had a lovely voice.

This is also a big leap for me, having one reader who reads this, and apparently is less fond of my singing skills.

So now I am happy, and I am also happy to report that I will be posting posts more regularly now that my schedule isn't insane. (correction: now that my schedule is less insane, but still quite insane.)

Imadeapicture!

Correction: Alright, I'm only in my second year of Spanish. BUT 2 x 2 = 4, AND 2 years of Spanish is not as impressive as 4, so give me some credit! I am sorry that I fudged the truth a little bit. If you forgive me, you get more happiness from the narwhal.

Correction Again: I tried to record another song last night, but my voice was failing, so I don't think I will post a song on this post. Next time, next time.

I Made Dying Animal Noises in Chemistry Class

Yes, I did, and it was terribly embarrassing, and the guy who I really liked was there (and is still in my Chem class, sitting directly behind me).

First of all, I am in a 10th grade, regular Chemistry class, which is not really filled with the smartest people in the world. (Like Insect, who’s face looks like an Ogres face, and who has a really weirdly shaped head). There is me, my best friend Bum-Bum (because of her last name and the size of her butt), and several other rather normal people, but then there is HIM (who we shall call Panamanian Paradise) who has delightfully mocha colored skin, huge brown eyes, and lustrous dark brown hair, and even though he shaved it for wrestling, he is still the hottest kid I have ever seen in my life.

Anyway, we sit at tables not desks (for labs and such) and one day as we were taking a test and at the table it was me, Bum-Bum, and Panamanian Paradise. Both Bum-Bum and I had finished our tests and were drawing pictures on our binders of the animals that each of the kids in our class we thought resembled the most, I drew Panamanian Paradise as a Jalepeno (with the squiggly over the n) with a sombrero and boots and a really cute poncho, and as I was drawing this, I couldn’t help but laugh, but I didn’t want to disrupt the class, so I tried to hold it in. Big mistake. As the big laugh was coming I was trying my best to stay serious, but soon it erupted from my body.

I leaned over and tried to pretend like I was choking, but I knew that the entire class thought I was laughing. It was like the sound that two hippos make when they know they are going to die, so they dry hump one….last…..time. It was wretched. I stayed leaned over for a couple seconds because I knew I couldn’t face twelve or thirteen students probably staring at me in disgust at that moment.

I especially knew that Panamanian Paradise was staring at me also.

Oh well, I’m sure he wouldn’t have been interested in me, anyway.

Elvis Presley Song!!!

This song is by Elvis Presley, I'm sure you know it, follower. Its called "I can't Help Falling in Love". This song was the first song ever to make me cry. Actually, that's not true, the sad song at the end of Pokemon 2000 was the first. Its still a really pretty song, I sing it a little differently, but I hope you like it!!!



PS: Follower!! (Emily-chan or Allie) If you would like to make a request, you can email it to me at IAN.WRIMYN@gmail.com

'Nothah song, Yo!

Yes, I have decided to continue my inanimate object filming singing posts. This one is kinda dark, and I'm singing kinda low, but this song is near and dear to my heart (its the first song I ever sang solo in a concert!) It's Someone to Watch Over Me, I think by Hoagy Carmichael, but I don't know for sure. Hope you like it!

One Weekend of Churchy Awesomeness

This past weekend, I went on a "BIBLE STUDY RETREAT". Yes, but don't hold it against me.
It was soulfully fulfilling, but that's not why I am going to post about it. I am talking about the epic prankage that occurred the only night we stayed over. Needless to say, nothing gross happened (almost), and no pillaging and raping of women occurred, BUT hilarity did occur when the boys completely FAILED their prank.
So it was about 9:00 Saturday night, and we had finished all the things that we had to, so all of the kids that came were hanging out in the common room, that is, all except for a few rambunctious girls in my group, who decided (on their own) that they would try to wrap all of the boys' cars entirely in plastic wrap. They had also decided that they were going to put tampons in the boys' beds, but luckily that did not happen because the super ninja admin that were there caught them.

This angered the men.

They were so angry in fact, that one of the boys revealed his costume and prank idea early, so that the administrators had to have alternating hall duty to catch him before he made us pee in our pants with fright. His plan was thwarted.

If plastic wrap and tampons wasn't enough, the junior high girls thought it would be funny to hit the wasp nest one more time by sneaking out and banging on all the boys's (grammar, yes I know) room windows. This was retaliated by a failed attempt by the boys to get outside before the girls came back in, in order to perhaps kidnap and rape them in the forest, one can't be sure.

At this point, almost everyone was still awake, and when we, the High School girls, heard news of this tom foolery, we knew the men were going to do something EPIC, or so we thought.

We all went to bed, trembling with fear of what the boys would do. Every noise was them walking over to our room, every shift in someone's bed was the boys taking off her covers (better to rape them, I guessed) and every cough was a boy getting too close to the perfumy part of the room where I had sprayed too much Angel Innocence. I'm pretty sure the girl closest to the lights turned them on at least 50 times, thus wiring us up even more.

Finally, it was 4:00 in the morning, and we decided that it was too late for any of them to even want to do something.

We were wrong, but thankfully, one dutifully dedicated High Schooler thought it was upon her to stay awake the rest of the night (it actually wasn't intentional, she has insomnia and forgot her sleep meds) and keep watch over our room.

It was about 5:00 am (so she claimed, she didn't have her phone or a clock) when she heard the boys talking outside of our room. She knew deep down in her heart what she had to do. She trudged out of bed, went to the door, threw it open and said "What the hell do you think you're doing?" She recalled the following morning that the boys stood there in awe of her majesty and ability to stay awake, for a moment, then proceeded to sprint down the hall in terror of her power. She was too irritated and grumpy to see what they had done, so she came back to her bed and continued reading by the tiny night light (that really only provided about 1 sq ft of light, so the room was still pitch black) by the foot of her bed.

The next morning, we all woke cheerfully, knowing that our whole night was saved thanks to this girl's sense of responsibility and sleep disease. She informed us of her night adventure and as soon as she was done one of the other girls flew to the door and opened it slowly, excited to see what had transpired.

All that was there was about 10 little sippy cups, 3 of which were filled with water. It was an EPIC FAIL on the boys' part. We laughed at them heartily, they had only gotten 4 hours of sleep to pull this awesome prank, only to fail miserably. We didn't even know what they intended to do with the cups had they all been filled up with water. A few of my friends suggested that the boys had forgetten that the doors open inward rather than outward, which perhaps might have been the intended prank: Someone opens door, whoops! all 2 oz of water spill on the carpet, OH NO!

Nevertheless, they failed. It was funny. We all laughed at them. It was a good weekend.

More Music, YAAAY!

I feel like maybe filming inanimate objects while I sing might become my thing. I don't really like getting dressed up for silly things like mini concert videos, so this is a perfect system for me! This video is of my hot chocolate, which is my favorite drahnk, and the song I'm singing is Two Sleepy People. Hope you are fond of this one, because you know I am!!!

Guess what?? I did it!!

I did it!!! Yay for IAN WRIMYN!!! I am so happy to show you, one follower, the wonderfulness that is the hours of my long, hard work. Not singing the song, no, but uploading it in a proper fashion to post in my blog, which is much more difficult than I thought. So here it is, the name of the song is How Little We Know by Frank Sinatra, and yes it is an entire video of my wonderful heart pillow (hey, you get to see the inside of my house!) it's not very advanced yet, but I'm getting there! More songs will be better, I'm still trying to figure out how to put background music on my videos (don't judge me!) and once I have that figured out, the world will be beautiful!!!! I hope you like it!!

Second Post today!!!

I have been thinking that maybe I will start posting some of my songs on this blog. Maybe, just maybe. They aren't necessarily songs that I wrote, but I will be the one singing them. We'll see......

Day 3 and 4 of the Cabbage Soup Diet

I have been quite distracted by my life lately and didn't post on day three of my Cabbage Soup Adventure. I think that you will be pleased to know that I have lost 4 lbs thus far!!! Plus, now I can eat meat which is kinda important to my mental stability, so I'm excited.

Also, I have recently learned that I am lactose intolerant. Bummer, yes. End of the world? maybe, but am I going to get through it? Most likely. There are pills that you can take with your meals with cheese in them in order to prevent the embarrassing side-effects of eating things with lactose. Hopefully there's a life lesson in here somewhere.

Day 2 of the Cabbage Soup Diet: This had better work

I don't know if you have ever gone 2 days only eating fruits and vegetables but I'm pretty sure it messes with the chemicals in your brain. Right now I am thinking violent thoughts about Shamoo dragging the cabbage to the bottom of the ocean and stabbing it with a huge shell. I hate cabbage. Cabbage needs to go extinct. Cabbage needs to DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH AT MY HAND!!!!

By God, if I don't lose 10 billion frickin' pounds by the end of this hell week, I am going to find someone, cut off their skin, and wear it around like a skin suit. You think I'm joking? Let's see if you still feel that way when I'm in your room and I'm cutting off your skin.

Day 1 of the Cabbage Soup Diet: The Calm Before the Storm

Well, I finally had to end it. The post snow-pocalypse christmas weight finally is coming off. The bodily phenomena "Puffation Cycle" is beginning anew, and as the world in Northern Virginia begins to awake from its wintery slumber, so am I, and so is my metabolism. I shall lean down like the bunnies and squirrels and be in tip top shape for summer when the mating season begins.

Cabbage soup diet............... oh god.

I begin my journey today into a mysteriously restricted world of eating only cabbage soup, fruit, vegetables and a little chicken.

This journey will only last 7 days, but the program promised 10 lbs to be dropped, and 10 lbs I shall.

My Thoughts This Morning

I hate you alarm clock, for inserting yourself in my dream and then waking me up 20 minutes late.

I hate you Fiber One Oats and Chocolate bar for being so gross after I've eaten so many of you.

I hate you jeans for being colder than my flanel pants this morning.

I hate you floor for turning into an ice floor over night.

I hate you mom, for waking up and being able to talk at 6:20 am.

I hate you sun, for not being up at 5:30 when I wake up.

I hate you FCPS school system for making me walk 1/2 mile to the bus stop instead of 30 feet like last year.

I hate you random broken broom stuck in someones yard for making me think this early.

I hate you walking buddy for telling your mom that we wanted to walk to the bus stop from now on.

I hate you backpack for being so heavy.

I hate you bus for not being there the exact moment I get to the bus stop.

I hate you annoying bus stop kid for talking too much at inappropriate times.

I hate you bus driver for being a creeper.

I hate you school for existing.

I hate you history for ever happening and making us learn you.

I hate you history teacher for making us get into groups and actually work.

I hate you group for failing our presentation.

I hate you stomach for growling incessantly from 7:20 to 2:10 exactly.

I hate you English teacher for assigning homework when we didn't even have school.

I hate you God for making me a human instead of a cat who can sleep all day and nobody cares.

Mike Tyson+teddy bear+Nina Simone= Mike Lynch

I believe in America. I truly do. Which is why I believe in American Idol as Americas amazing, spectacular way of weeding out talented singing people. One of those people is Mike Lynch, who is probably the best thing since Adam Lambert (but does not beat Adam Lambert, just no). Not only is he a cross breed of Mike Tyson testosterone, teddy bear huggability, and the voice of Nina Simone, he also is ADORABLE (almost like a teddy bear, but in a buff bouncer way). Mike Lynch is pretty much the best. At everything. No matter what.

Epiphany I

I have finally figured out why people go into photo booths in public places like the mall and at carnivals.

No, not because they want a bunch of cute pictures to give to their friends and loved ones.

Because they are going to their secret spy lairs hidden underground!!!!!

It all makes sense. With the cheap price of disposable (even disposable digital) cameras, who would need to spend 4 dollars on only 6 photos? Not a normal person! So, therefore, they must be a SPY.

The flashes of the "camera" distract the casual onlooker to the chair dropping suddenly into the dark depths of the spy lair. I'm sure there are professional "Super Secret Spy Chute" finders (because of course there have to be decoys) and repairmen who are under oath by the FBI.

Or maybe they use computers and humanoid robots.

I hope not, because the robots will probably revolt and kill all of our spies by making the photo booths secretly blow up, and then we will have no more spies. That would be bad.

I hope now that the cat is out of the bag the government won't try to track me down and kill me.

I am now SUPER EXCITED about new blog!!!

I am quite new at blogging, although I have had a “blog” before, this just does not feel the same. I am super hyped up to do this!!! Even though this will probably wear off in a couple of hours, right now I feel AWESOME.

I figure I’m kind of like a blog baby right now, but later on I will develop into a blog toddler, always screaming and yelling about something that I want and can’t have, or something annoying.

And then a Blog Tween, who is really self conscious because I don’t want people to not like me and I don’t want to seem like a copycat, and I don’t want to make anyone angry.

But soon, I will blossom into a Blog Teenager, defiant and confident, I won’t care what anyone thinks or says! This is MY blog! I can do what I want with it! HA!

Then after a couple years I will become a responsible adult blog, who writes every day and always has something funny to talk about (I look like the Matrix Lady because that is my dream job). I will always be politically correct while at the same time raising some controversy.

Then after many years with my Blog husband, Neo, I will begin to deteriorate into a Blog Senior Citizen. I will soon be forgetting to post more and more and soon I will die peacefully and with those that I love, unless my potential future follower gives me eternal Blog life by complimenting my blog.

Do you see all these wonderful pictures I drew? That is how excited I am!

P.S. I am sorry that Blogger is trying to ruin my Blogger High, it will not let me upload images the way that I want, even when I ask really nicely. I will try to work this out, but Blogger is kind of my boss right now, and so I might just have to have screwed up picture orders, sorry!!

I’m scared to make a real blog

People, I have to tell you, I am terrified to actually go through with making this blog. It’s going to be up for all the world to criticize and make fun of and laugh at, even if I stop posting on it, it will always be there….. haunting me. I had a blog before, but I was young, I was only doing it because my mom wouldn’t let me have a Facebook and all my other friends had one. We didn’t use it for stories, we just used it as an excuse to type stuff and put it on the internet. I bet even now you could find it if you had the proper information. Scratch that, no you can’t, I used all the information, Blogger must have killed it shortly after it noticed I hadn’t posted in 2 years, good.

I don’t know if I am ready for this kind of commitment. If I recall correctly my blogger month and a half, it was a hassle posting everyday and I posted a really embarrassing story that I will explain later that my ex boyfriend saw and probably told his friends about which is why I haven’t had a boyfriend since. Plus I am not all that confident that my everyday Follies and Foibles are interesting enough to post on the internet for someone to read. Quite frankly over the course of a year about two interesting things happen to me……… maybe this will just be a biannual (is that for two times a year or every two years?) blog, but Blogger may eat it because I don’t post enough. Maybe there will be some intermittent posts just about how I want to kill someone, or eat someone’s brain so they can’t be stupid anymore (ironic sentence) because if they didn’t have a brain, not only would they not be able to say stupid stuff, they would also be dead. Yes, I think like a zombie or serial killer sometimes, but I swear I (almost) never act on those impulses.

I also feel like the influence from Hyperbole and a Half may affect my writing so much that I actually sound like I’m copying her. That would be bad. Even though I love that blog with all my heart, I do NOT want to be a copier or in other words, a copy cat. I also feel like now that I posted that link on my blog the follower that I may have in the future will go to that blog and not only like it more than mine, but also like mine even less because I am a copy cat. Also, my pictures may resemble hers as well, thus making me even MORE of a copy cat.

I am so conflicted.